watch the stars go down tonight

I'm too fcked up to do anything. It's the end of the year and

I feel fatter than usual
I feel old
I feel left out
I feel afraid

Something has come up so recently. No, its not me not going out. It's just that we're all growing up and that scared me.

When I come across some blogs, all they ever fuss about is them being emo(ahha), ah lien poses and people actually thinking that they know what life is about just because daddy got them a new haircut.

Like seriously..all these things I just don't get. Why do people actually bother. Why is it that everything is so difficult.

Then again, there are so many reasons for everything..

These past few days, I come to realise something. Things happen for a reason. And that reason is to come.

It just sucks cause I haven't cared about stuff like this and high school is going to finish in 3 years for me.

And that scares me more because what am I going to do. I've got my goals but can I actually acheive them.

I've got a few people stopping me from what I want to do. But I love them. And because of that, I'm afraid.

Will I ever be respected for who I am? I'm really hating who I've been for this whole year.
You know, the 'I-like-black-because-it-is-cool' phase. And that is OVER

For sure.

PS..I love 2D [2007] :]